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Allah says:

“ We relate to you their story with the truth; surely they were youth who believed in their Lord, and We increased them in guidance.”

Allah also says: “They Said: we heard a youth called Ibrahim speak of them.”

As I and you all know, the period of adulthood and maturity is one of the most difficult times of our lifes. It is a very important time that attracts the attention of most of us including the youth themselves as they come to understand their own selves . Indeed it attracts the attention of parents and teachers who want to learn from this period of lifetime as well.

Some youth pass through this period of adulthood and maturity with ease, being able to adapt with their new body and self changes. They are able to fulfil the needs of their families and the community during this  time. Others pass through difficult times with own self, facing lot of challenges in their community.

This period is more easy and quiet in rural areas and more wild and difficult in urban areas especially in the western countries were there is a lot of amusements and bad company from non-muslims.

This period of adulthood and maturity ranges from 12 – 20 years and varies among different youth, between males and females.

We have to differentiate between puberity and adulthood. Puberty is the  time of bodily changes that usually mark or preceed adulthood which is actually a prolonged period of time that require from us special care and an art to deal with it,as well as patience.

Why does it require special care and art to manage it ?

Because the youth at this period are very healthy and very vulnerable to all dangers. 

Children  usually  think in a very materialistic way while youth’s thinking is more spiritual and psychological. Freedom for a child is the ability to play at all times (whenever he/she wants) but freedom for a youth can break the boundaries of belief, morals and behaviour.

The thinking process of youth  is based on probabilities, chances and logical thinking. By the end of the maturity period, youth have more wisodm and experience from events they have encountered. They tend to accept other opinions and  ideas and build up fexibility in relations.

May Allah bless Omer –ibn-Alkhatab who said: who doesn’t know the period of ignorance, won’t understand Islam.

So how should we deal this stage? The only solution to communicate with them calmly and honestly

and not leaving them to fall in having a bad accompany

and here is an example from the Prophet Muhammad:

A young man came to the Prophet and said:

                "O Prophet! Give me permission to commit   adultery." Some   of the Companions who were present, seeing this request as                 being against Islamic morals, told him to be quiet and                scolded the young man.

                The Prophet was very calm and told the young man to come and sit by him turned to him and said,

                "Would you like for another to commit adultery with your mother?" The young man said  "O Prophet of Allah, I would never desire such a thing."  The Prophet said: "No one would want such           a thing for their mother." He continued, and said: "Would you want someone to commit adultery with your daughter?" The young man said "O Prophet of Allah, I would not. Then he went on to ask if the young man would approve of his sister, or his aunts committing adultery. Each time, the young man answered: "No, I would not want that." When he saw that the youth had understood his error the Prophet put his hand on the young man's shoulder and prayed for him. The young man, according to his own words, did not allow the emotion of lust to enter his heart again.

Then how come people refuse others opinion and refer to the Prophet Muhammad?

It is because he (saw) is the educator and a mercy to humanity.

We want to calmly take this similar example of the Prophet when dealing with our young men towards girls, by asking them the same questions the Prophet asked the young man. Of course he would refuse, because it is his family. 

In this same manner we also address our teens with  prohibited drinks, and similar unlawful things.  Would you, youths accept that you lose your minds for couple of minutes and people trick you, would you accept it that every time you beg for money to buy your desires? Would you want to destroy yourself? Would you want to be at the age of 25 yet your mind is 10 years behind?
The youth may respond and say: No, I am a man, and my mind is fine.

If that is so, then preserve your mind, and your money

And do not listen to those who try to harm you

For you are old enough, smart ( sane), and a man.

This is how your approach your teens, calmly and always ask your teens if they face any of these problems and put pressure on it.

Will you as a parent be able to handle it as the Prophet did, despite that the companions were obedience?

In reality, when we address our teens with anger, yelling and criticizing them; we are closing the doors between ourselves and our teens.

So then they refuse to talk to their parents.

We should try to be gentle and tolerant towards our young people. 

Look at the form of dialogue: “ Would you accept for your mother… for your sister…

This itself is considered a reference to the Islamic Conduct ( Behavior) in the maintenance of the individual and the society

1. First, it determines that the relationship between the individual and the society that it is a close relationship that does not break. For every Muslim woman is a mother, sister, daughter or a wife… And that what an individual feels in not pleasing for himself or his family, should not be pleasing to others or their families
2. The nature of dialogue and that he is returning to the fitra, the fundamentals of human nature, which the Muslim community imparts in their youth’s heart.
3. The dialogue itself is a mean of measuring the internal الدفش  in us. And we select the appropriate treatment depending on this measurement and it was sufficient in the youth’s case in facing the البيان  harm in society and from this reality
4. The immediate response of the young youth to the Prophet proves ( confirms)  what we said earlier, that when we deal gently with our children and prepare for their crisis and what would come to them at different stages, at that point they will not need more then a gentle, careful guidance and deep prayers.