Khutbah 04/16/2010 - Marriage - Part I
All praise be to Allah. He does not beget nor is He begotten. Do not associate any partners with Him. He (swt) needs no helpers due to weakness. Magnify Him with all magnificence.
All praise be to Allah that He allowed Adam to live in paradise with his wife. All praise be to Allah that he made marriage a strong bond.
Allah and the angels witness
Allah says in his book
“Marry those among you who are single, or the righteous ones among yourselves, male or female:
If they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace:
And we bear witness that there is no god but Allah
Who forbade us from marrying the nonbelievers he says:
وَلاَ تَنكِحُواْ الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّىيُؤْمِنَّ
“Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe”
And prefer the believing chaste women over the chaste women among the People of the Book
So that we all can look for each other, and marry from the believers.
Islam forbids marriages to those who dislike Islam even if they were among the people of the book, to protect our offspring and generations.
And we bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah, who made marriage easy for his companions
He started with his own daughter, Fatima and made it easy for Ali Ibn Abi Talib
He (peace be upon him) made the greatest marriage a blessing
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said :
من يمن المرأة خفة مهرها ويسر نكاحها و حسن خلقها
From blessings of the woman, her dowry will be light, will be pleased to marry her, and manner becomes good.
We will start a series regarding the Muslim Family and Tarbiyah (Islamic Conduct).
The first step to having a family is marriage. Married life is one of the Sunnah’s of Allah on earth.
Allah, the exalted says in Surat AlRa’d:
“And indeed We sent Messengers before you (O Muhammad) and made for them wives and offspring.”
There was no messenger sent except he had wives and a family.
Even Isa (Jesus) will come down at the end of time and marry from the nation of Muhammad.
Allah, the exalted also says in Surat Atharyat:
“And of everything We have created pairs, that you may remember (the Grace of Allah)”
Allah also praises Himself by mentioning, in Surat Yaseen:
“Glory be to Him Who has created all the pairs…”
And Allah, the Exalted, made the husband and wife like a “Garment” for one another as He mentioned in Surat AlBaqarah:
“They are your garments and you are their garments”
When one sees the difference between men and women, whether it is in their nature or talents, the contrast of men’s strength versus women’s, or the physical and other differences, these differences exist so that men and women can complete one another and live with love and mercy between them as a couple.
Allah, the most High, says in Surat AlA’raf:
“It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife [Hawwa' (Eve)], in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her.
And in Surat ArRoom, Allah, the Exalted, includes marriage as one of His great signs
because the mentioning of the verse comes in the middle of some of the greatest signs and creations in the universe.
Among them, the creation of Heaven, the Earth and Lightning, Allah says:
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves,
that you may find tranquility in them,
and He has put between you affection and mercy…”
And with the passing of days, the souls of the couple are healed and brought near until they are joined and become one soul.
And so they complete each others’ qualities and personalities. And each becomes like a mirror to the other, unable to be separated from one another.
For us to achieve this tranquility between husband and wife and live in a happy Muslim Home we must follow what our Lord commanded in his book.
Allah, the most High, shows us the importance of the Khitbah (Engagement) before anything else as He says in Surat AlBaqarah:
“And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of proposal (for marriage) to women…”
And no daughter should forget that she should obey her parents ‘opinion.
Although they have the wisdom that she lacks
The daughter has the right to agree or refuse the engagement.
However, she should not abuse the freedoms present in this country.
The bride and groom must meet one another before marriage and each party must be pleased and agree on the general qualities of the other.
And be careful of opening the opportunity for the engaged couple to be together and alone ...without a guardian for the girl until marriage.
And so guard your daughters and ensure the presence of a mahram when the engaged couple is together.
Do not neglect this issue in order to begin a rightful path for the marriage.
Another issue is that the couple should know their rights and obligations as a husband and wife.
And the Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, makes it clear to us what a respectful wife would be.
Stating that a wife who does not argue about small issues with her husband,
She protects him during his leave, makes him happy when he is around,
She prays all five times a day, and worships Allah,
And she protects herself from any wrongdoing
The best of the husbands would be the one who is the closest to Allah, kind to his wife, treating her with all care and is patient with her.
Because the best man in front of Allah on the Day of Judgment would be the one who treats his wife with goodness.
I want to clarify this matter now so that men and women both know their responsibilities
A man once complained to me that he asked his wife for a cup of water and she replied to him
“You have hands and legs get up and get your own cup”
This is not from Islam / it is only done by Non-Muslims
We should want to make each other happy.
In the introduction of this khutba, I wanted to point out that in this world we have nothing but to take care of our families and protect it. We promised to start this series for the family and how to prepare for marriage. In the upcoming khutba we will follow with you about the rights of both husbands and wives
And advice for the Muslim family
The fifth lecture will be on how to create a stable and strong household
Afterward we will talk about the importance of Islamic conduct in a Muslim's life
Then in the seventh khutbah will be on raising your child in their early stages, followed by how to deal with problems and certain events that come during the teenager stage.
Follow with us Insha’Allah our next week khutbah will be about ten important advices from parents to their daughters.
Insha’Allah this khutba will be posted on the ICC website
Dear brothers and sisters
Let us try to perfect all of our relationships with our spouses by following the path of the Prophet peace be upon him.
May Allah protect and guide us and the angels surrounding us
Duaa
O’ Allah make us on the correct path of Islam and our prophet Mohammed (PBUH)
O’ Allah give us the ability to do all the good deeds
O’ Allah unite the Muslims and return them back to their high status
O’ Allah guide the Muslim youth and make of them a great nation
O’ Allah make us do الصلاة on time and accept our دعاء
O’ Allah forgive our sins and the sins of our parents in the Day of Judgment